Thursday, September 08, 2016

To have kids or not to have kids—that is the question

In her article entitled, “Just Because You Can Have Kids Doesn't Mean You Should,” Sara Starkman outlines how she isn’t sure how she feels about having children.  Appropriately, she recognizes the importance of not becoming a helicopter parent—“being involved in a child’s life in a way that is overcontrolling, overprotecting, and overperfecting, in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting”—and how such parenting only serves to create monsters.  She also points out that some parents go off the deep end when discussing having children themselves or wind up living vicariously through the children of others.  When asked about having children herself, comments in response to her answer, “I’m not sure,” verge on insanity, suggesting that she is selfish if she chooses not to have any.

I must say that I enjoyed how she encapsulated her perspective on having children.  Here is how she put it:

“Why does me not wanting to have kids seem so outrageous?  I’ll tell you what I think is outrageous:

1) Contributing to our gross overpopulation problem.  (Sorry, I’m not into monsoons or only eating foraged seeds for the rest of my life thanks.)
2) Having children when you don't really know if you want them but having them anyway because you think you should (we have enough sociopaths do we not?).
3) Having kids before you’re ready.  (I found a five-dollar bill recently and nearly creamed my pants.  How would this child survive?)
4) Worrying about EVERYTHING for the next...OH YAH FOREVER (I cannot bald.  My hair is all I have!)
5) Having to pretend to like douche bag kids that my kids play with because they haven’t yet learned what standards are.
6) Doing SOMEONE ELSE’S homework instead of having sex.
7) Needing adult diapers sooner than anticipated.
8) Having a moment in time where my asshole and snatch are one. I give you, the snatchhole.
9) Giving up sleep for, probably, the rest of my life (GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE guys, for real).
10) Thinking that working hard, travelling, volunteering, caring for my partner and our animals or having more time and money to spend with my parents is selfish.  It’s just different.  So suck it.”

There is no question that many parents should not have been/should not be allowed to have children, since dysfunctional parents tend to produce dysfunctional children.  Some would pipe in by saying that a licence should be required to have children (along with a qualifying process).  Many would argue that it is their right to choose one way or another.  Turning back to Sara’s comments, others could justifiably point out that putting her needs first is indeed selfish.  Then others might suggest that for a lot of parents, having children is simply “keeping up with the Joneses.”

Where do I stand on matters?  My answer is: I don’t know!  Certain aspects of all of the above comments ring as true.  What is my conclusion on this matter?  You guessed it: Blame it on fast foods!

- B. J. T. Pepin

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